No news is good news

Sorry there have been no posts lately but there has been nothing blog worthy going on in my life really. Goodness knows how you have all coped without having an update from me recently. Did you all need some counselling? Ok so things have been a bit samey round here lately but I'll tell you anyway. I have D&V 3 days this week and so spent 3 days in the bathroom - or loitering just outside it. Not much fun I have to say but Asda is probably happy that we bought a years supply of baby wipes and toilet roll in just 3 days. Ok TMI so I'll move on. Mum and dad came to spend Sunday with us. So dad fixed the dishwasher and investigate a plumbing problem in the bathroom while me and mum yabbered on. And yabbered on for England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales. Just as I started feeling guilty that dad always has to bring his toolbox every time he comes over mum told me he would rather tinker with a smelly u bend or toilet then sit there talking. I believe her. Dad never was much of a talker. Unless you got him talking about the right thing and then he would give me and mum a run for our money. Funny that cos I can see now that I have actually married my dad. Well Andy might as well be him for how similar they are. I reckon there must be something slightly Freudian and weird about that. Oh heck I can't leave on that note can I so I'll witter on some more. I'm moving jobs again on Friday - not sure if I'm looking forward to that or not. And I'm still waiting to here about which department I will be offered for my permanent job here. Ok ok I can see your bored rigid now so I'll love you and leave you now.

On looking disorganised and scatty

of the things that annoys me most about having dyslexia is how easy it is to make you look disorganised and scatter brained. Take yesterday for example. I was doing a job at work which involved looking threw some old data (in excel spreadsheets) and adding this data to the new spreadsheet. Sound simple? It was. This is how the job should of gone.

1. Get project number from spreadsheet 1
2. Look in directory on computer for that project file
3. Open file and copy information
4. Paste information in new spreadsheet

This is how it actually went.
1. Get project number from spreadsheet 1
2. Open required directory on computer
3. Thinks to self - Now what was that project number again?
4. Look in directory on computer for that project file
5. Double check from original spreadsheet that I got the right project number
6. Back to the directory - now were was that project file again? - oh there it is
7. Open file and look for information - what information was I looking for again? - oh yes.....
8. Find and copy information
9. Go to new spreadsheet - it was the new spreadsheet and not the main one wasn't it? oh right. yes it was
10. Now what was I doing with with information again? Oh yes I was pasting it in here

I would laugh if it wasn't so annoying.

Is it any wonder it takes me twice as long to do anything.

I'm old. According to Dr K-whatsit

Ok everyone in Blogland. Life is quiet here in Yorkshire later so there has been nothing to report. Nothing except that I have been having some fun with the Dr K-whatsits brain and site training games that we got last weekend. I have actually discovered something pretty interesting. That is that as the week goes on my brain and eye age get higher. Now that wouldn't be quite so worrying if the change wasn't so dramatic. And it wouldn't be so worrying if my job allowed me to be crap towards the end of the week. I think I need to do some head scratching and try to figure out what I can do about it. Suggestions on a postcard please :o)

Explaining dyslexia

Recently I had a friend ask me what its like to be dyslexic. I didn't really now how to answer it. Its like me asking her what its like to be normal. But anyway I am going to have a go at explaining what its like for me. Actually I am not explaining it so much as getting you to understand it by following my instructions. I will do a few of these just to show that its not just about problems with reading and writing. This is the first entry. Enjoy.

On reading and understanding a book
1. Put the washing machine on spin cycle and place your book on the top of the washing machine - that should give you an idea what its like to read wobbly text
2. Start reading the bottom line of the page first and work your way up until you reach the top of that paragraph - then suddenly remember that you should of started reading form the top of page first
3. Read the first sentence and then go for a walk for 5 minutes
4. Read the second sentence and go for another 5 minute walk
5. Continue until you have read the chapter
6. Try writing a quick summary of the book so far - that should demonstrate why its so hard for me to remember any thing I've red. And probably explains why learning from text books is specially a problem.

A week of transplants

I have had some brilliant news this week. First of all a little boy I used to look after who needed a liver transplant finally got his liver transplant. I cried when I stumbled across the story here on the bbc news website. And for the second miracle of the week. I have been following a blog for a while about an amazing family. I won't even start going into the details of this blog because you really need to check it out for yourself. The blog is written by the husband of a truly amazing lady who just happens to have cystic fibrosis. She had a baby in January while in desperate need of a double lung transplant. Well she finally got her transplant a few days ago on her husbands birthday. Talk about the best birthday present ever. Again I cried. So some of the best news ever and involving one family I have never met and another family I haven't seen for over 8 years. I can only imagine the uncontrollable emotions I would be going threw if it was my own family. Well that is all for now cos I have a horrible headache and am starting to feel sick now (TMI). But go check out confessions of a CF husband now. Well go on then :o)

Not my life

Just incase you were wondering. Dyslexia is NOT my life. Its just that I have been forced to think about it more lately because I seem to of gone threw a pretty bad patch with it recently. I think alot of people who have dyslexia will vouch for the fact that we have good and bad days like any one else. On my good days I can read pretty quick and find the right words I need when writing. And all of the other things that Joe Public doesn't realise are connected with dyslexia are also easier than normal. Things like remembering instructions and getting words like tomorrow/yesterday right and the day of the week and the month your in. Not to mention the hole right/left thing that alot of us have going on. It makes life pretty interesting (and difficult) at times. On bad days though. Well they are the days I wish I had not got out of bed. On them days writing is basically a non starter. There is no point because I after I have red the sentence I can't remember anything of what I just read. Writing is almost always difficult. But on a bad day I might as well not bother with that either because I can't reed it later on. And then all that right/left and tomorrow/yesterday stuff is just the icing on the cake on those days. Anyway. Back to the top of this blog entry. Dyslexia is not my life. It just feels like it right now because I have more dyslexic moments when I am tired and stressed. And I am tired and stressed right now.

Stupid courses :o(

I had a really horrible course at work this morning. I hate are courses because we have to things like write on flip chart or complete handouts. They are always in small groups and then fed back to a bigger group. So I spend the hole time avoiding been the group scribe. So then I luck lazy and it makes me so mad. This morning we had to complete a worksheet on our own but sat in a group. I'm sat there trying to hide my answers so the other guys wouldn't see. The trouble when your doing that is you don't concentrate on what the speaker is saying because your to busy trying to cover your work. Another thing when the speaker was telling us to turn to the page with XXXXX or YYYY or it I couldn't find it. I was only looking out for a 4 or 5 word title so it was so silly. The first time I just pretended I found it and stopped looking. The second time I asked the guy next to me. He looked at me really strange. The third time he automatically pointed it out to me. Thank goodness for that. I felt so stupid though.

That sinking feeling and explaining dyslexia

I had a friend who asked me describe what it is like to have dyslexia. I am still struggling to find a way to explain it. One way I think I might explain is that you now you now the answer but you just can't find it. Its like putting a tiny peace of paper in a really big filing cabinet and then trying to find it 5 years later. You just have no idea were it was filed but you now it is there some were.

Me and Andy got a bed for our wedding present. Recently though it has been trying to eat us alive in the morning. It is all warped and the slats keep coming out from the base. So as soon as you go to get out of bed the bed just falls apart and the slats drop out and then who ever is still sitting on the bed just falls threw the base. Its quit funny to see just a pare of legs wriggling and poking out from the base. Well anyway Andy went onto ikea website and has bought us a new bed. I am so looking forward to it because the last one was getting a bit worn really.

Webcam fun

I got a new webcam off my sister for Christmas. I was tinkering about with sum of the setting last night and found some pretty cool effects that you can do. Enjoy the laugh.

Logitech Quickcam webcam (I recommend it for desktops and laptops)

Aged look

Don't now why but this one remands me of a fish

Pop art

Hand drawn

Distorted

Constipated look

Me pausing as usual LOL

What is your out look

Can a disadvantage be used as an advantage? Sometimes or never?

I saw that question here at ditto. It is something that I try to do. I mean. As much as I moan and winge. I am actually a positive person mostly. So this is how I answered it.

Yes and I like to do that. Like for example my husband is fed up that he has
been moved to a new team at work. One were he doesn't now the product very well.
I keep reminded him it is a challenge and a chance to learn not something to get
all bothered about. Another example I have been working with a team who have not
really supported me very well. Rather than complain about there lack of
information making my life difficult I have thought about it that it has force
me to make decisions and judgements and now I feel more confident that I can
make the right ones. Because they dropped me in the deep end with everything I
learn more than I think I would of otherwise.

See I told you I was positive rely. I also rote something similar here at being dyslexic. The poster was saying that she didn't want to be labelled if she was dyslexic. Well fact is you do get labelled but you can kind if turn it around and prove that some of the myths about dyslexia are wrong.

Fact is you do get labelled sometimes but I find I have alot of fun proving them
wrong. People at unit thought been dyslexic meant you could not read at all. So
when they gave us sum reading homework to do they were shocked when I did it as well as the others in class. They didn't now I had gone to the computer lab and
scanned it in and then had a program read it back to me LOL. I proved to them
that sometimes when the help is there I can work at the same speed nearly as
everyone else. When people try to judge you just see it as an opportunity to
prove them wrong or help them understand why it is difficult.

So yes I think I have got a positive outlook overall. Have you.

Centre Parks

Last week we went to center parks at winfell forest with my brother and sister in law and nephew Sam. We had a great time and would definitely go back there. Its basically a huge forest with cabins laid out in little streets. There is a village centre which has shops and bars and restaurants and also a bit swimming pool which kids would love. The wildlife was a hit with Sam who enjoyed looking for ducks and rabbits.

Log cabins

Our cabins at heather glade

Village Centre

When a 2 year old tells you to put his hat on you don't argue. Bit worrying that it fits me though LOL.

Boo. Me trying to hide behind a pole. Wander why that didn't work.

Rabbit. Just in case you had not noticed :p

About me

My name is Louise and I am 32 from Yorkshire. I was diagnosed with dyslexia at 27 in my first year at uni but I always new there was somehting up. I try not to let it hold me back and if any thing it has helped me push myself even harder. I am happily married to Andy and have 1 cat called Meg. I am a mechanical engineer and am on a training scheme for a worldwide company.

Me & Andy on my graduation day November 2007

Why a blog

A post here at being dyslexic made me think about the benefits of me writing a blog. First it would help my message board friends there and at ditto be able to keep up with what ever is going on in my life. Second it might help to improve awareness about dyslexia. Third since I avoid writing at all costs since I left uni last year it would help me keep some writing skills. So here goes. Be nice to me. This is not easy.

Waitng game

Copy from my old blog.

The wait for exam results is horrible. 2 weeks left and it feels like forever. I have a feeling I am resitting one of them which is disappointing really considering I new the subject. I just forget it in the exam and then remembered it when I came out. Simple things threw me in that exam like not realising that s+1 was the same as 1+s. I mean hoe silly is that. The lecturer is going to think I am a complete idiot. I feel so stupid. But I was talking to a tutor about it and he suggested it was dyslexia related something to do with a processing disorder thing. I wasn't sure what he was on about but basically he said it is common to not see the link between things that you do now and that your memory could figure it out in 1 minute time or an hour time or never. Just my luck it waited till I got out of the exam. If I resit I hope the same doesn't happen again. In the other exams I think I did pretty bad on one and ok on another and pretty well on another one. Basically the marks will not reflect what I now and will not reflect the effort I put in. Story of my life. On the good side I found out unofficially that my dissertation mark was good don't no exactly what it is yet though.

I found out 2 weeks later that I had past my exams with a first.

Made my day

A friend was waiting to go do her viva presentation and found this outside the room. It is a poster I made for a presentation I did in December. She found it hanging on the wall of fame outside the room. Look it even had its own display cabinet so nobody will be drawing beards and specs on my poster. That made my day because things like this don't happen to me.

Don't now what to do

It feels really funny I have now finished my degree well apart from waiting for results and then possibly resits. It feels funny to have some spare time. I just don't now what to do with it. I was having some vivaldi therapy you can't beat the classics aaaahhhh. So I had my viva presentation earlier today and it went really well. This was the final piece of work for my dissertation module. I wish every subject had a presentation at the end instead of am exam because I would get great marks for the end of year tests. Oh well maybe one day alternative exam methods will come in and we might get to choose how we sit the exams. For me oral exams would be great. Ok so back to my presentation. I was told it was exactly what a professional engineer would give. Good slides. Well balanced content. Nothing mising. Spot on timing. Good technical detail. It was great to hear the feedback straight away. I thought we might not get any. Ok I will leave on a good note.

Nearly done

I had my last exam yesterday and I think it went ok. I will not exactly be a fantastic mark and definitely not the mark I deserve but I think it will pass. I had a reader who was good at reading and who asked if his reading speed was ok. I did ask him to speed up because its hard work remembering what has been said when the pace of the reading is so slow. I thought it wasn't going to get off to a great start because the guy didn't seem to be listening to me when I was showing him what to read and nor read but I think I got my point over eventually. I was a bit intimidated though that he wanted to sit right next to me. I don't no if its a dyslexia thing or if its just me but the thought of having somebody watch me as I rite nearly makes me have a panic attack - well not quite but it does make me go all sweaty and panic a bit. I told him I wouldn't need him for a while and he could just go and sit over on the other side of the room until I cold him. I think he thought I was a bit to direct but it had to be done. Anyway that is the last of the exams until the resits of which I think I will be sitting one of them. I also have a presentation to on Friday about my final year project. It will not be much fun but it beats exams. I usually do ok with presentations because I memorise it completely and don't need to rely on prompt cards - well there is no point since I could never read them fast enough. The result is usually a presentation which looks a bit more professional. I had a funny thing happen today at uni. Ok it wasn't funny ha ha but it left me feeling a bit blah. One of the administrators at uni was on about supervising the special needs exams like mine - I don't no why but that phrase special needs just kind of hit a nerve and make me feel odd. I don't no what better phrase there wood be but that just felt odd.This picture below was posted on another website but I thought it was worthy of a mention here I thought it was funny but maybe you wood have to be me to find it funny.

Horrible exam

Not much to say todays exam was a disaster. I forgot the things I new and the questions made no sense. Even with the reader I couldn't figure out what I was being asked. Its worrying though because this is a subject I am good at. If I can do so badly with a subject I am good at then just how bad can I do with a subject I am not good at. On Monday I have a exam for a subject I am not good at. Needless to say I am very worried.

2 down

I had my second exam today a maths based subject and alot harder than I had expected. Ok so here is how it went.I got to the exam room a few minutes early again so that I could familiarise myself with the reader and invigilator. The invigilator I thought was going to be really stuffy and intimidating but he came over and shook my hand and introduced himself and seemed really nice. The reader was also really friendly and I could tell she had alot of experience. I used an exam paper that I had been using for revision to point out what I would and wouldn't need her to read. I asked her to read all the wordy bits and to just not bother with the mathematical symbols and formulas if I couldn't manage even them there would be no hope for me passing the exam! We agreed that she would read through the entire section A of the paper and that I would choose the first question and then take it from there. So with the invigilator sat directly in front and watching my every move and with the reader sat right behind burning holes into the back of my head we started the exam 5 minutes early.About an hour into the exam one of the disability administrators came in to see that everything was going ok and had the nerve to ask me if I was having fun. Oh yes this is what I do for fun. There wasn't actually to much for the reader to read from the exam paper with it being quite a maths based module. At the end of the exam I asked her to read the question again and then my answer to it so I could see if I answered the right thing. I did spot a couple of mistakes where my answer didn't seem to say what I thought it had and I had enough time to correct those mistakes before my extra time ran out.So far the reader system seems to be working really well for me. It isn't as intimidating as I thought actually it has been LESS intimidating than being in a big exam hall. Another bonus is that I don't get distracted by everything else going on in the exam room. I wish I had used a reader in my previous years exams now. I have another exam on Wednesday nest week wish me luck.